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Reading the book, “The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer led me to a couple of answers to questions that I had had for many years. Beware, those last few chapters may change your mind (possibly your life) about things.

The first was the question posed by one of my recent articles on the inequities of love. “Do we ever want to give less than all we have?” That “all we have” refers to love. The real question was: Why is it that I often feel that I don’t get back as much love as I give?

The answer was…

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Have you thought of something so often that you could swear you must have started writing about it by now? That is true of this.

Long ago I lost count of the myriad examples I have to illustrate this idea. You probably have many of your own. It may be difficult to decide which side you would rather be on, but if you are with me, it can be rather painful.

Worse than that, you start to become numb to the pain. Once you start accepting your role in all of this, it is helpful to know the serenity prayer…

“To think good thoughts requires effort. This is one of the things that discipline — training — is about”. -James Cringe Clavell, Shōgun (1975). Image and quote from Wikipedia.

Distilling the essence of my book down to a few paragraphs is a challenge. But, this is that. On we go.

Do you know how it feels to be happy? It could be while you are doing something elaborate, like enjoying a one-man musical performance as you are eating your dinner surrounded by a room full of like-minded people in an environment that resembles what must have been the speakeasy vibe necessitated by the advent of prohibition. Or, it could be as simple as enjoying the last few bites of a bowl of oatmeal while writing a long overdue post…

It turns out, it’s all about forgiveness. Don Henly got it right.

“You keep carryin’ that anger
It’ll eat you up inside baby

I’ve been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness

As usual, this will be done in three parts.

Pardon me.

As we forgive those who trespass against us.

Forgive yourself.

You expect instant forgiveness (the best kind) when you say, “Pardon me.” Or, “Excuse me.” There’s almost no question, a stranger is likely to say, “No…

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Ignoring that little voice is a huge mistake. When your attention is strangely focused on something and it seems to make no sense, that may be your little voice trying to help you make a good decision. Like when you have your books around you and they are all in the same place they have been for days and weeks, but you are drawn to one for no discernible reason. The title just catches your eye, or you just happen to notice its location, as if it is suddenly newsworthy or something! And, not taking it with you is where…

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Matt would make sure this lady got her large fries. No doubt, she would be choking them down with a diet Coke. Naturally, she’ll want a Super Chef burger, deluxe! He was thinking she could stand to miss a meal. Imagining himself slapping her hard across the face, he would deliver retribution for the way she was talking to her kids. Watching those children run laps around her, he thought they must really put on some miles!

This was Matt’s life, watching over the fryers, wondering how he had gotten into this situation. He thought he should become a mechanic…

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We aren’t going anywhere, but you might still enjoy the ride.

This will likely become a speech I’ll deliver at Toastmasters.

At first blush, by that title and image, you might think I’m a computer programmer. That would be far from the truth. I’ve done some programming, but I’ve never become a programmer. I would have been eaten alive by my OCD.

I’m a writer, speaker, communications worker of sorts. Mostly, I help people with computers and their websites and social media. This has been my answer to “what do you do” for decades now. Soon this will change.


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Trying to sleep last night without ruminating through what might have been had already become tiresome. Losing sleep over exhausting thought patterns leads to the continuation of a fatigued existence. Raise your hand if you recognize this cycle.

Something made me switch to asking questions. Doing so led me to ask, inevitably, “Why?” Why do I continue to practice this self-defeating behavior? What do I have to learn by doing this?

Thinking back on the events of the day (Saturday, February 2, 2019), I reminded myself that I had just watched a video on how to recover from an “addiction… Mr. Peabody and Sherman

I’m pretty sure the above-referenced cartoon series from the 1960s is the origin of the phrase, “Wayback Machine”. If you know better, say so. Of course, the origin has almost nothing to do with the point of this post, but may be interesting to note here for your curiosity and edification.

Here is what you can do with Internet Archive Wayback Machine. Click that link and type in your domain name or a URL. In my case, it will be — which is currently devoid of any useful content. However, long ago, that…

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Before starting this work, I searched my computer files, to see if I had already written on this topic. I had. It was just over five years ago, now. I’ll include that little opus at the end of this.

Being alone has its perks. You can do what you want with your time. If you want to listen to music, watch TV, and write, all at the same time, you can, with no interruptions. I’m an input junkie at times and am pretty sure I could not, would not, be doing this if anyone else were around.

Loneliness, however, is…

Brian Rouley

Writer, SEO expert, Social Media, Websites, networking, computers, training professional. and

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